inner-peace

For some of us, it’s that frenzy time of the year (again): college applications. I’m extra familiar with this topic because this is my second year applying for US universities. Up until then, I had considered myself a competent student. I had really good grades, and participated in lots of extracurricular activities – dominating a few of them. When college applications time came around, I was pretty confident. I applied to a total of 13 US universities – and I received a rejection letter for every one of them.

When I got over the shock, I scrutinized every mistake I had made to lead to my ‘disastrous’ result: I did not have a great IB (International Baccalaureate) score, I applied for financial aid to all the colleges, I didn’t apply for any ‘safeties’ – the list goes on. There were several things (and people) that I could blame on my failure to get accepted into a college, and I suppose that made me feel less guilty at the time.

At the end of the day, however, there is no one to blame but myself. No one made me do anything, and no one ever can. My mistake was narrowing my college list on only the top-notch elite universities that I, along with my family, believed would give me the best opportunities in my future. Real life is obviously not that simple. A ticket to a great college does not mean a ticket to success. Nothing, and no college, can ever change the person that you are inside. It is nothing more but a means for you to receive your higher education.

In many ways, I am glad this unexpected turn gave me the time to reflect upon myself. This bridge year has not ‘changed’ me: I am still the same person. But my intrinsic interests and outlook on life have changed (I have spend this year learning and educating myself; I plan to travel more next year). I can now list a number of things that I truly enjoy doing outside school. I no longer fear that I’m not ‘social’ enough – I’m one step closer to accepting myself. Yes, I am still insecure, shy, naive in many ways, and whatnot. But my life is no longer confined to one vision. I know that there are endless opportunities for everyone out there, and it will be me who discovers them, not my college name.

As of right now, I can’t lie – I am quite anxious about writing my college essays. I have written a dozen drafts and listed endless ideas for just a few essays, and it’s only the beginning. But that’s alright – I am doing it more for myself than for the colleges I am applying to. The only person I should be proving myself to is myself. Because ultimately, your happiness and satisfaction is what matters. College is just a name – the social setting, campus, geographic perks, and everything else that comprises the whole feel of the environment besides the academics is what matters. If you could move to any city in the world, you don’t look for the one with the best job offer and discard everything else. You take into account all the factors that you know will make you happy in that place, and choose the one that fits you best.

Lately, I have been living by quotes that remind me of what makes life meaningful. This is one that I saw on a friend’s wall:

“Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.”

In other words – even when life is shit, how you choose to react to it is what truly matters.

Misty Prose

4 Comments

  1. A lot of the people I knew who were amazing students got turned down from a big list of Universities. I’m glad that you’ve changed your outlook a little bit. I’ve also met and know a lot of people who are thoroughly convinced that college = happy/successful life when it really doesn’t. I hope you get into the college you want and you have a great experience, though. Higher education is something I believe in even if it’s not for everybody.

    • Thanks Alexa, your comment means a lot. I think many of us still have this mindset because of 1) the way we’ve been raised and 2) the media. I’m applying for US universities partly because of the rankings, but that’s all just part of the propaganda. There are all kinds of amazing colleges everywhere (particularly in Europe) and it’s truly about finding the best fit for you rather than what going with its “reputation”.

  2. I wish you the best of luck this year!!! If you’d like a proofreader for any of your essays I’d be happy to help as long as its not December 1-10 (finals season).

Leave a comment!

%d bloggers like this: