mistyprose – read, learn & travel

a girl who

reads, learns & travels

i just officially completed my move-out of this be

i just officially completed my move-out of this beautiful room, and i wasn’t even there to move out 😭 i kept about 20% of my things (clothes, shoes, bags, small items) and gave away the rest to friends and my roommates.
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my brother helped me move my things out, and i coordinated all the details with my roommates and the new tenant online. the things that i kept will be shipped to me (in taiwan). it feels weird to no longer have a permanent home, a space where i am based in. i’m still getting used to it, while still being (so) grateful to be safe here in taiwan.
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the news is reflecting the turmoil and unrest that we all feel, and if you want to escape from it, create your own world - through books, writing, (re)watching shows. i’ve gotten down on myself a lot lately, and reminding myself that i am surrounded by loved ones, and so much hope and kindness, has helped bring me back to sanity.

remember to take care of your mental health too. i

remember to take care of your mental health too. it’ll help you be a better ally to those around you ✨
edit: didn’t realize i had already posted this until weeks later LOL

the fear i feel when i walk the alone at night is

the fear i feel when i walk the alone at night is that of a young girl. the fear i feel is that of being mugged or kidnapped, because as a young girl i've been taught that i am an easy target. the fear i feel is comforted when i walk past parents with toddlers, because i know they won't cast a second glance at me when i walk past them.

the fear i feel when i walk alone stems from my understanding that i am always a likely victim, never a possible suspect. the fear i feel when i'm outside stems from the ingrained belief that older males, often of color, are a threat to my younger, female self. as a young asian girl, i know i don't wear the look of threat to nobody.

while i am asian, female and non-american, i have seen enough to know that i am praised more than i am victimized. i am stereotyped for traits that push me to confirm or counter them, with the identity i was born with never an unbeatable deterrent in my fight to success. i know what it feels like to grapple with the expectations of being a girl with tiger parents in a western society, but i don't know what it feels like to fear for my life.

i don't know what it feels like when i walk the streets alone at night with the fear that others will see me as the threat. i don't know what it feels like to have glances cast at me for my skin color or gender. i don't know what it feels like to feel targeted for things i can't control, for the beliefs that existed before me, for the life i was born into.

if you want to become better, if you want to erase the biases that you've been taught, if you want to see the world better - bury your face in books. read, peruse, and devour them. fiction books reveal subtleties in our behavior that are often hard to convey discreetly in real life. they are my favorite foolproof way to learn about a subject, allowing their implicit messages to sink into my psyche, gradually but surely.

from one of my all-time favorites, Americanah: "Racism should never have happened and so you don’t get a cookie for reducing it."
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#BlackLivesMatter

found an old photo back in my room parents’ hous

found an old photo back in my room parents’ house/hometown/childhood home 🥺

𝘩𝘢𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘱𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘯

𝘩𝘢𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘱𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘶𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘢 𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘢... ¡𝘺𝘰 𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘦!

i just had a final presentation for my club on zoo

i just had a final presentation for my club on zoom. my team and i rehearsed it beforehand, so i was feeling pretty confident. but as soon as i opened my mouth, that scratchy voice came out and i ended up trying to clear my throat and saying “sorry” for a solid 20 seconds 😭 why do i self-sabotage
also i miss my room 🥺

“he relaxes like a cat—

and cats don’t relax except with people they like.”

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